Rules of the beach, I see the big sign in most beach parking lots. They usually state things like no pets, no fire arms, no alcohol, no feeding of the the sea life…things like that. Those are pretty universal and well understood, but there is another set of rules for the beach that isn’t written down. These rules should sit in the common sense part of the brain, but you’d be surprised by the lack of social cooth on most days at the beach.
I hit the beach probably 2-3 times a week. You can usually find me on Bonita Beach near Doc’s, Lover’s Key Beach at Big Carlos Pass, or on Ft. Myers Beach. I like to kick back with a good book, my iPod and a nice view of the Gulf of Mexico. Simple and peaceful.
It never fails though, I’m sitting there on an uncrowded section of sand and guess what happens, a family of 5 with 3 kids sets up a small city right in front of me. Gulf view gone, peace destroyed. They unfold their chairs and place them in a neat row, creating an impenetrable wall of canvas and overweight bodies. The kids scream in pitches I didn’t think possible and kick sand on all nearby.
There’s only one choice…move. Castaway Shawn said he carries a bag of potato chips just for this reason. As he gets up and moves to a new plot of sand, he quietly takes a handful of chips and tosses them behind the chairs of the offending party. What happens next is an aerial bombardment of screeching seagulls. Revenge is sweet.
This frustration brings me to the unwritten rules of the beach. I’m going to list a few of the most common rules, then you guys can list rules you have below in the comment section. Hopefully the oblivious offenders read this and learn the social laws of the sand.
Unwritten Rules of the Beach
Like I mentioned above, if there is plenty of open space on the beach, do not set up your campsite next to another party. It’s called personal space, people like to have it. The only exception is if the other party is attractive and you wish to start a conversation, even then that’s an ify situation. Fill the empty parts of the beach and try not to sit directly in front of another person’s view.
Kids are great, I love kids, but they are wild crazy animals. They yell, scream, kick sand and cry. They are destroyers of peace. When heading to the beach with kids, seek out a place on the sand close to another family with kids. This will hopefully keep the ciaos contained to local areas and give the kids some other terrorists to play with and entertain themselves.
3. Banana Hammocks
I’m writing this from the perspective of a Floridian. This is the United States, not the south of France. Men in speedos is not acceptable. This is a huge violation of the unwritten rules. No one wants to look at your man parts being held back by a small tight piece of material. If you’re visiting America you should follow the local customs. Board shorts and swimming trunks are the normal custom for the states.
The sand on the beach is not your personal ashtray. I can’t stand smoking period, but to have it blow across your face at a place as tranquil as the beach is just offensive. If you just have to have a cancer stick on the beach, make sure you’re not close to other beach goers. You could even take a walk to the parking lot and do your business there. Also please put your cigarette butts in the trash when you’re done, not in the sand.
I love music at the beach…my music. There’s nothing better than staring out at the waves with some Buffett, Chesney, Mishka or Marley playing to set the mood. If you bring a radio to the beach make sure it’s loud enough for only you to hear. If you want it louder, ask the people close by if it is okay.
Those are 5 unwritten rules of the beach. If you’re an offender of any of these hopefully you learned a few things of what people expect at the beach.
If you have others you’d like to add, please do so in the comment section below.